Caring for Dementia

Scattered thoughts

My life as a nomad changed dramatically in early October.

I moved to North Carolina to help care for a dear friend with dementia and live with her and her husband in my own lovely nook on their lower floor. My alone, do as I please, when I please, time came to a halt, for now. I hold no ill feelings, for I wanted to do this. What a change it was for me to get adjusted to this new experience.

Caring for someone I once knew as an active and independent soul, and being a witness to her brain slowly dying, well before the rest of her body, carries with it a mix of emotions. Watching her frustration rise as she began to speak, but could only get out three words, before the thought escaped her, was frustrating for me to observe. I couldn’t help her. Guessing only added to her frustration. I had to learn to let it lie there and redirect her, if possible. It is always a challenge, though, for her level of “recall” varies greatly.

Looking out for my health during this time has been a juggling act. It became quite clear to me when I had forgotten to protect myself with an energy shield. Being an empath, I was taking on way too much of her energy. My upper back ached. So much so, I couldn’t turn it from side to side without pain; eventually, it screamed at me continually. Off to the chiropractor, and sure enough, it was out, not only in its usual places, but also a few more. But the pain continued, and I knew it would for the pain was more than being out of alignment. A dear friend offered some questions to ask myself, and sure enough, all the responses circled the dementia friend’s energy that I was holding onto. 

After several days of release work, I finally “saw” and felt the energy drip out of my back and travel down under my bed and into the earth. I watched this energy leave my soul until nothing was remaining within me. I rolled out of bed, pain-free, for I returned to my flexible self. You can be sure I committed to putting up my shield, making it ten feet thick, coating the outside of it with mirrors, all facing out, every morning. I even need to do it again in the afternoon. What a difference it has made. I can tend to her better, no longer allowing myself to be dragged into her energy.

What have I learned these past few months? I can take care of my friend, but I must take care of myself first. I must get out in nature, daily, have time alone, eat well, protect my soul with an energy shield, and laugh more often than not. Also, solidly hold to these boundaries. 

I have been guided on how to help her pass when she is ready, whether I am present or not. Several times, she and I have walked down the path that I am asked to guide her toward. It’s a beautiful, regal path, lined with tall evergreens, protecting any soul that walks down it. When we arrive at its entrance, I am to allow our hands to part and watch her walk down this path one last time, toward her awaiting parents’ arms at the other end.

Always with love, Carol